Monday, February 13, 2006

Hard words from a daughter to a Mom

 


It's been over a week since my oldest daughter told me she was angry with me for spending too much time at the computer.  I wasn't surprised.  I knew I was spending too much time online.  And I knew she was angry about it, feeling neglected.  I had just never heard her say it.  

I was embarrassed that she said it in front of my husband, though.  I was exposed.  Although I'm sure he wasn't too surprised by her statement either.

I intended to make changes right away, but 9 days have gone by and I have to admit I haven't made a noticeable change yet.  And I need to if I want to keep my oldest daughter's heart ... and the hearts of her younger siblings.

I know my friend UnschoolingMama would understand.  I know she'd be nodding her head and telling me to just get on with what I should be doing if she read this.  She's been urging me and other women not to let the computer take us away from our families for several years.  She even blogged about it just last week. 

I do well for awhile and then I find myself getting sucked in more and more.  Falling into very bad habits.  It's much worse now that we have DSL that doesn't tie up the phone line when I'm online.  I can't shut the computer off each day since my husband programs on it at night for extra income and usually leaves his work open.   I just have to exercise some willpower and actually live out the priorities I profess.

I have to, because I'm over halfway done raising my oldest daughter.  In 8 years she'll have completed high school and could be marrying soon after that.   I have so much to teach her between now and then, and I'm not being a good example.

5 comments:

  1. Very good post. Timely for me. I tried to trackback to your post, but you must not have trackbacks enabled? Regardless, I linked to you.


    I have always appreciated your honesty and transparency. On more than one occasion, your willingness to be real and share hard things in your life has changed my days...and a few times, my life.

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  2. Shurleen told me to get online and read her blog today. So I did. She recommended reading your blog today on her blog. So I did. And now I am in tears. I miss you, April. I miss hearing about your life, your homeschooling, your precious children. I miss knowing that you are just a "submit" or "send" away from conversation. There are so many I miss.


    Most importantly, tho, I miss my family. I miss what the computer has stolen from me, those precious moments when I could have been with my children I spent with yours instead. It's hard to be without your fellowship, but it's harder knowing I am missing my children's.


    Much love April,

    Nicole

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  3. April, I sure do appreciate your honest words. ((())) I've been in the situation that you are in now, and let me assure you that you will be blessed in many ways by getting your computer time under control.

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  4. It's a hard thing to do, April, but sometimes a very necessary thing. If we have no self-control, how can we teach it, model it, for our children? You will be richly blessed.

    Leslie

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  5. That settles it. I'm adding you to my friends list.


    Deb

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