When I had four children, under the age of 6, we had another one of those days!! Perhaps I could call it the "dreaded day of bodily functions".
A stomach virus hit our home that day. I can't remember who was hit first. But I do remember that they did NOT hit the toilet. I got that child into the tub (it was one of the oldest girls) and headed off to clean up the carpet. I had just gotten the carpet cleaned, and the offending child out of the tub, when the other girl threw up also.
I remember several hours of this going on. I would run from one "fire" to the next. Just as one child was clean and redressed, someone else would throw up. They were in and out of the tub repeatedly, and my laundry pile was growing quickly. And in the midst of all this, I was having to keep baby J away from the messes until I could get them cleaned up.
In the middle of this, C came to me and informed me she'd had an accident. She was potty training and was wearing only a pair of cloth training pants at the moment. I remember looking at her and saying, "WHAT KIND OF ACCIDENT!?!" She said she'd wet the floor. "WHERE? SHOW ME WHERE!"
C bopped out of the bathroom to show me where she'd had her accident. As I followed her to the bathroom, I was noticing how loose and baggy her training pants were and pondering the fact that she needed better fitting ones. As I watched her bouncing ahead of me, I realized that they seemed droopier than usual.
It was then that I realized she had done more than wet the floor. As I hurried to catch up to her, I watched in horrified fascination as a ball of "poo" fell out the leg opening of her training pants and hit the floor. Time seemed to slow and my heart sank as I watched it fall. Then it BOUNCED!! Once, twice, thrice!
C bopped on to an area by the back door to show me her wet spot and I just stood there in shock. It BOUNCED!!! I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. One more mess to clean up on a very very bad day.
But, it BOUNCED!! And suddenly, I was laughing hysterically. I grabbed a paper towel to pick up the offending "ball". Then, I threw down a few more paper towels to mark the approximate "bounce" spots, and scooped up my little girl. C was obviously curious why Mom was acting so strangely about her accident. I don't think she even realized what had happened.
Straight to the tub went C and I went back to the kitchen to scrub and then bleach the bounce spots on the kitchen carpet, and to do the same to the wet spot. Then I hurried back to the bathroom to finish cleaning C up, still giggling a bit hysterically.
To be honest, I'm glad it bounced. It was a very surreal moment, but it changed my mood that day. I was exasperated beyond belief, on the verge of tears, and being very curt with my children who could not help the messes they were making ... until it bounced. And then I saw the humor in the whole situation, and my mood was changed.
Thankfully, it did not get any worse than that. The vomiting slowed down and by the time my husband came home from work, the children were all laying on blankets in the living room watching TV and eating lightly. But what a story I had to tell him!!