Friday, June 23, 2006

Missing my other half ...

 


It's amazing to me how easy it is to take someone for granted.  I've taken for granted the strength and peace I gain from my husband's presence.  I've taken for granted the steadiness he brings to our household.  I've taken for granted his companionship and the comfort of his touch. 

I miss my best friend.  I miss him so very much. 

I have not handled things well these past few days.  The mornings start out well.  The afternoons get tough.  By supper, I'm dragging myself up and forcing myself to go through the motions.  By evening, I'm speaking through gritted teeth.  By bedtime, I have no shred of patience or energy left and the mean old MONSTER MOM comes out ... stomping around, barking orders, demanding obedience and calm NOW. 

Usually, when I'm getting to the ends of my reserves, my husband comes home.  The children vie for his attention.  He hugs me.  He is the extra hands or voice when I can't get to a child that's needing me.  He's the extra voice of authority helping to herd the naughty sheep to bed.  He's the reassuring calming voice of admiration and praise when I'm trying to soothe a colicky baby or satisfy a clingy toddler's needs and I'm already feeling "touched out".

And he's not here.  He hasn't been here for several days.  And I wonder how single parents do it day in and day out.  How do they keep going day after day without giving into depression or anger?  How do they stay calm and loving?  How do Moms whose husbands travel regularly do this?  It must take practice, or something.

I am reminded again how much I need my husband.  How God designed us to work together as a team.  How God has made us One.  If I were to lose him, I don't know how I would go on.  I'd have to ... but I know it would not be a very pretty sight.  Not at all. 

The past few days have not been pretty.  As I tucked my children in tonight, I apologized for my lack of patience and yelling.  I tried to explain that when Baby L is screaming, and the TV is on, and they are running around and talking loudly ... it's just too much for Mommy right now. 

He's on his way home now.  As much as I miss him and long for his return, I told him not to try to drive through the night.  I need him to come home safely, even if it means waiting longer to see him.  Because I need him to be here with me for a very long time.  I need him to help me raise our children.  I need his companionship and strength.

We all need him.

6 comments:

  1. OurHomeSweetHomeschoolJune 23, 2006 at 6:36 PM

    Your love for your husband shines through your post.


    My husband is an over the road truck driver... he has been for 7 years and while we are now used to his being gone 5 days a week, when he ocassionally has to be gone longer that 5 days I can feel myself beginning to get like you described.


    The way we get through it... some of it comes with time... but for the most part it is through communion daily with my Heavenly Father and the help of the Holy Spirit.


    Enjoy your reunion when he comes home. Tell him all the things you shared in your blog... about how much you love and appreicate all he does and brings to your family.


    Blessings,

    Theresa

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  2. i know how you feel. i often feel that way at the end of the day and i can't wait for my husband to come home, we all are so happy to see him.


    i love the black and white shadow figures on your blog. very nice.

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  3. We are so much alike~I could've written this! (((((HUGS))))) sandi

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  4. when you wrote this. I feel the same way towards my husband. That's why he takes me with him during those trips as I could not really stand being away from him long. I told him everyday, I won't live without him. Praying for you and his safety. Enjoy your weekend, you are blessed!

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  5. I couldn't agree more. My dh travels every 6-8 weeks. It has gotten much easier as I've gotten use to it, but I will never like it.


    Hope your hubby made it home safe and sound and that today finds a more peaceful, happy mommy!


    Blessings,


    Angela

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  6. The Heavenly Father hears a father's prayers... He'll be watching over you, I'm sure.

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