"I don't know how you do it. You must have the patience of Job."

I think many stay-at-home moms, and all homeschooling Moms have heard this before.  Well, add in a larger than average family, and it gets even worse.  "You must be superwoman." 

I'm not.  I am just an average woman trying to do what God has called me to do.  I don't always do it well.  In fact, I often do a very mediocre job, and sometimes I just completely fail.  One morning this week I was so overwhelmed with all that needed to be done to clean the house, after too many days of just relaxing.   I was feeling very discouraged with the struggle to get my children to work with me.  I had basically given up that day, before we even began.  

Well, my pity party grew as I folded clothes, until I was crying as I put clothes away.  I'm sorry, but you can't cry secretly in a house with six kids, no matter how hard you try.  I finally went to my room and shut the door, but within 5 minutes I had 6 kids standing around my bed staring at me.  What a novelty!!  Mom's crying!! 

After I reassured them no one had died, and baby and I were physically fine ... I did finally tell them I was just discouraged.  I didn't want to use my tears to manipulate them, but I did want them to know that I was discouraged. 

Then we got up and we all started working.  I did most of the work, and I am still feeling it in my achy muscles, but the work was done.  We just need to work on the concept that if we don't work daily it will all fall apart again.  My oldest will be 13 next month, but we still do not have the area of chores and cheerful obedience regarding chores conquered.  None of us are perfect here.

There are other times I just lose my patience and raise my voice.   And I have several children who mirror that right back at me.  If I let my irritation or anger show in my voice, it is returned to me in their response.  I know this ... and yet I still let my frustration and anger show too often.

I am selfish.  I am impatient.  I get tired of the daily grind of homeschooling, housework, and raising a large family.  Too often I procrastinate and don't give this task my best efforts.

How do I do it then?  With God's help.  I've been listening to our Selah "Hiding Place" CD in our car, and it touches my heart.  The first two songs on the CD totally express my dependence on my Lord and Savior.

Selah -- You Raise Me Up

When I am down, and oh my soul, so weary.
When troubles come, and my heart burdened be.
Then I am still and wait here in the silence.
Until You come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up so I can stand on mountains.
You raise me up to walk on stormy seas.
I am strong when I am on your shoulders.
You raise me up to more than I can be.

You raise me up so I can stand on mountains.
You raise me up to walk on stormy seas.
I am strong when I am on your shoulders.
You raise me up to more than I can be.

There is no life, no life without its hunger.
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly.
But when you come and I am filled with wonder.
Sometimes I think I glimpse eternity.

You raise me up so I can stand on mountains.
You raise me up to walk on stormy seas.
I am strong when I am on your shoulders.
You raise me up to more than I can be.

You raise me up so I can stand on mountains.
You raise me up to walk on stormy seas.
I am strong when I am on your shoulders.
You raise me up, to more than I can be.

Selah -- Part the Waters, Lord / I Need Thee Every Hour

When I think I'm going under, part the waters, Lord
When I feel the waves around me, calm the sea
When I cry for help, oh, hear me
Lord and hold out Your hand
Touch my life
Still the raging storm in me

I need Thee every hour, most gracious Lord
No tender voice like Thine can peace afford

I need Thee, O I need Thee
Every hour I need Thee
O bless me now, my Savior
I come to Thee

I need Thee every hour, in joy or pain
Come quickly and abide, or life is vain

I need Thee, O I need Thee
Every hour I need Thee
O bless me now, my Savior
I come to Thee

O bless me now, my Savior
I come to Thee

When I think I'm going under, part the waters, Lord

 

I'm not superwoman.  I'm not perfect.  I'm not even that patient.  But, God is continually working in my life to change me.  I am more patient and less selfish than I once was.  And I pray I become even more patient and less selfish. 

When I turn to God, and lean on Him, I can do this.  I can stay home, and homeschool my large family ... in a manner that is pleasing to Him.   With Him, I am more than I could ever be alone.  And I need Him, always.  Not only do I need Him, but He is faithful and He will give me everything I need to complete the task He has called me to do.

"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” "  2 Corinthians 12:9

"I can do everything through him who gives me strength."  Philippians 4:13

"Therefore you do not lack any spiritual gift as you eagerly wait for our Lord Jesus Christ to be revealed.  He will keep you strong to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ.  God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful."  1 Corinthians 1:7-9

"May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.  The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it."  1 Thessalonians 5:23-24


Trusting in Him,
April

A fun birthday weekend for me ...

We had a great weekend this weekend.  I was able to spend Saturday at church, in ladies fellowship.  First, I spent 4 hours scrapbooking with a couple ladies, and then I attended an ice cream social with even more ladies from church.  It was an enjoyable time, and it was good to get to know the ladies in our new church better.  I came home and Steve took the oldest four to Teens For Christ.  When they got home, they quickly made the Duggar's Ice Cream Cake for my birthday, and stuck it in the freezer.  Then Steve and I watched a movie and went to bed way too late.

Sunday, I went to church with the oldest four children, and Steve stayed home with 4 yo M (chicken pox) and 2 yo L (hates nursery and will get chicken pox soon).   Since we couldn't eat out together as a family for my birthday, Steve called in an order for Pizza Hut pizza toward the end of church service, and we picked it up on our way home. 

After we at our lunch, the kids and Steve presented their gifts to me.  And then we showed the children our surprise.  Pictures of the Sheltie dog we'll be getting soon.   We found her via freecycle and are hoping to get her brought home soon.  There's some distance involved between where she currently lives, and our home.  The children are thrilled as they have wanted a dog for a very long time.

I spent the early part of the afternoon washing clothes and hanging them out on the line while Steve mowed and the kids played in the sprinkler.  I talked to two of my sisters on the phone during that time, too.

We ate the Duggar's Ice Cream Cake (scroll down the page to find the recipe) mid-afternoon.  It is double layered in a 9x13 pan, and we only ate 1/3 of it.  It was very easy, and delicious!  It sounds really rich when you read the ingredients, but it wasn't any richer than an ice cream cake from Dairy Queen.  Steve calculated our cost this time to be $12 ... which is probably half of what we'd pay at DQ for a similar size cake.  It definitely costs more than a baked cake, but it's nice for the occasional summer birthday treat.  We used crushed chocolate cream-filled cookies (like Oreos) instead of a crushed candy bar.  When we make it again, we'll try to lower the cost by shopping for the ingredients on sale, well in advance.

Steve grilled brats and hot dogs for our supper, which we ate with grapes, and chips.  Then, he and I began working on cleaning out one of the kennels for Molly the dog.  We do not intend to kennel her all the time, but want to have one ready for nights, and times we go to town.  This will likely be most important when she first arrives, so she doesn't decide to wander away.

The kennel is in good shape, but there were lots of shrubs and small trees trying to grow up around it that we cut down.  And Steve needed to trim overhanging branches that were reaching into the kennel too far.  Some dead branches needed to come down for safety, as well.  Now, we're in the process of removing leaf and branch debris from the floor.  Then we'll wash down the cement floor, and clean out the dog house. 

I'm not sure if we'll add any bedding materials yet (other than a couple blankets) or if we'll wait to add straw/pine chips once it cools off and she needs them for warmth. 

My parents called while we were working, so I talked with them while we worked on cleaning up the floor.  We came in at dark, and put the children to bed.  We followed them not too much later.  I was really tired this morning, and went back to bed after Steve left.  I slept until 8, when my sister called.  Then after she hung up, I crawled back into bed to nurse 2 yo L, who was waking up.  I stayed there dozing until 9:00, when kids began to wander in to talk to me.  I didn't get up again until 9:30.  I don't do that anymore, so I felt guilty ... but it felt so nice to get that rest.  Maybe I can stay awake to read this afternoon now.  *giggle*

I'm still doing laundry today, so I need to go hang up my first load and start a second load.  Then I think I'll get the children to come outside with me, and work on cleaning up the kennel floor some more.   We're having a variety of leftovers for supper tonight, so I don't need to cook.  But I should start thinking ahead to tomorrow's supper plans.

Edited to Add:  M is doing well with his chickenpox.  It seems to bother him less than the poison ivy did.  He didn't get many pox, and he's scabbing up today.  Unless more pox appear, he'll likely be non-contagious and able to go out in public again on Wednesday. 

Trusting in Him,
April