Thursday, February 5, 2009

Blessing Our Husbands With A Clean Home

Have you ever asked your husband what is most important to him, to feel like the house is clean?  You should, because you might be focusing on your pet peeves, and ignoring his.

It took me several years before I realized that my husband's priorities are not the same as mine in a clean house.  For instance, he wants an empty sink.  I want cleared counters.  I would be putting all the dishes in the sink so the counters weren't piled up.  That made me feel better while waiting to fill the dishwasher.  It gave me room to work as I cooked supper and filled plates for the kids.  But when my husband came home, he felt like the house was dirty because he couldn't access the sinks.  He'd huff and pile stuff on the counters to empty out the sinks.

I finally realized his preference and began to pile things neatly on the counters, as well.  Trying hard to not let the pile get too big, because then it bothered me greatly.  Now obviously, it's just best to wash the dishes quickly and not have a pile to move around.  But with 8 people eating meals 3 times a day, that's a lot of dishes, and there's schoolwork, childcare, and other chores to do as well.  Sometimes we only have time to quickly empty the sinks before he's home.  But just doing that improves how he views the home when he gets home.

Thankfully, having cleared floors is important to both of us, as well.  Neither one of us likes to step on or over toys as we walk.  But Steve feels very strongly about having vacuumed floors, especially in the rooms where he is barefoot (the bathroom and our bedroom).  He can ignore a ton of clutter as long as the floor is picked up and vacuumed.

It's hard to homeschool and keep a spotless house all the time.  It's especially hard if you have preschoolers, toddlers, and babies in addition to your students.  But if you ask your husband, "What 3 things are most important to you in a clean home"  you'll have the top 3 priorities to focus on. 

For your husband, it could be a clean toilet, plenty of underwear in his drawer, and a cleared dining room table that doesn't still have schoolbooks on it.  Or it might be a spotless entry room, a clean stovetop, and well-ironed clothes.  If your husband is focused on the toilet, but your focus is entirely the kitchen, you're both going to be frustrated.

So go ahead, ask him what his priorities are.  Then set out to bless him by meeting those priorities for him.  Look at the house through his eyes.

Trusting in Him,
April

2 comments:

  1. I guess I have struggled with the clean home syndrome (trying to be Better House and Gardens sacrificing my time with the children). My husband looks at our home, and if it is messy, says how glad he is that it looks like I spent time with the children. He is helping me to free up from putting the house before the children. Not everyone has this problem, and if you have a clean house that doesn't mean that you sacrifice your children. But, in my case, I have struggled and still sometimes do struggle with cleaning my house rather than spending time with the children. Now that the children are getting older, the house is staying cleaner with many hands making the labor light.

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  2. Clean Underwear

    Clean Towel

    Bed Made

    Dinner ON the table by 5:30


    BUT, I thought it funny that your dh hates dishes in the sink. Mine does too!!! When we clear the table or clean we always put them in the sink until they go in the dishwasher, but we often get backed up. Then on the rare occasion he needs the sink he goes through the banging and clanging clearing out the sink. I just can't stand to have all that stuff piled on the counters! Yuck! To me, THAT seems dirtier.


    However, you have reminded me that I need to be a nice wifey, so I shall try very hard to keep my sink clean.


    Have a good one!!! :)


    Crazy Mom http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/crazyhouse

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