You never know when I might play a wild card on you!
and the book:
Harvest House Publishers (December 1, 2009)
Twenty-one days to more love and laughter. That's the subtitle of Kathi Lipp's book, The Marriage Project. Kathi's goal is for couples to step back from their hectic schedules and pour time and energy into their marriage for 3 weeks. She challenges them to restore the romance in their marriage and to put their spouse at the top of the priority list. Why 21 days? Because that's how long it takes to make a new habit, of course.
Kathi Lipp isn't a psychologist with a bunch of letters after her name. She's just a wife, in the trenches with us, as she tries to keep her marriage healthy while raising kids and working. She openly shares about her 2nd marriage and adding the role of step mom to her life, as well. Her determination to make her 2nd marriage work is part of what inspired the writing of this book.
This book is designed to be used by the husband and wife together, with assignments for each of them throughout the week. But, it can be done by one spouse alone, and still make a difference in the marriage and its romance-factor. Some of the projects include planning a date for your spouse, making a list of ten things you like about them, and massages. I won't give any more away, but most of these are simple things that just help us to focus on our spouse and our marriage, and communicate with each other. It's a great book, and I definitely recommend it!
***Special thanks to Kathi Lipp for sending me a review copy.***
Kathi is married to Roger, the Worship Arts Director at Church on the Hill in San Jose. They have four kids and live in San Jose, CA. When she’s not doing laundry, Kathi is a full-time speaker and writer whose articles have appeared in Focus on the Family, Today’s Christian Woman and Christian Parenting Today. Her first books, The Husband Project and The Marriage Project were both released by Harvest House.
Visit the author's website.
List Price: $12.99
Paperback: 232 pages
Publisher: Harvest House Publishers (December 1, 2009)
AND NOW...THE FIRST CHAPTER:
With every deed you are sowing a seed, though the harvest you may not see.
-- Ella Wheeler Wilcox
I have a shelf full of marriage books and I bet if you‘ve been married for any amount of time, you do too.
Most of the books that we own are great books. They talk about God’s desire for a healthy marriage, the theories behind a healthy marriage, and what a healthy marriage should look like if you apply these principles.
Some of those marriage books have had a great impact on my relationship with my husband.
Most of them? They ended up on our bookshelf as things I feel guilty for 1) not implementing on a daily basis and 2) not dusting.
When Roger and I got married we both brought two teenagers, two full-time jobs, and a host of volunteer activities into the relationship. There just wasn’t much time to be sitting up in bed after a long day, taking turns reading pages out of marriage enhancement books and staring longingly, with great resolve, into each other’s eyes.
On the other hand, Roger and I both determined to make this marriage work. We each had been in marriages that ended in divorce, and we were committed to being absolutely intentional to do everything we could, in God’s power, to see that we had a marriage that not only lasted, but also was honoring to Him and filled with joy.
That’s when the crazy ideas started to flow.
First, there was The Husband Project, where I challenged my friends (and myself) to bless our men for 21 days without expecting anything in return. While most women kept it a secret from their husbands, I had to tell Roger eventually (he had a right to know what book I was working on seven hours a day).
After that, Roger and I wanted a project to complete as a couple. The results of that are what you hold in your hand.
I wanted a way to bless my marriage that was very practical, fun, following God’s plan and purpose for marriage (and perhaps just a little bit flirty). I needed something that wasn’t just a theory about what to do about my marriage – I wanted some checkboxes. I wanted something that would instruct me, “This is what you do, now go and do it.”
That is what I needed, and that is what I ended up writing.
Becoming an Expert on Your Own Marriage
I’m definitely not a marriage expert. After one failed marriage and just four years into my second one, I’m probably not the first person you’d approach for marital advice. (Although the fact that Roger and I got married with four teenagers between us, and we’re still together, should earn us some kind of presidential Medal of Honor. Or at least a nifty certificate in a leatherette case.)
So I gleaned and condensed the very best advice from every marriage book on our shelves and adapted it into short, doable steps – or projects, that we could work on together.
This is how I have to manage almost every area of my life – whether it’s healthy eating, child rearing, Bible study, and most recently, marriage. It’s not enough that I know what I’m supposed to do; I need to have a plan to get up and do it.
Through these crazy little projects (most taking less than five or ten minutes) my husband and I learned new things about each other. We rediscovered what makes each other tick, confirmed some basics we already knew, and found new and exciting ways to encourage one another. While I may not be a marriage expert, I became an expert on my marriage.
I love how The Message Bible illustrates the words of James when it comes to putting feet to our thoughts:
Dear friends, do you think you'll get anywhere in this if you learn all the right words but never do anything? Does merely talking about faith indicate that a person really has it? For instance, you come upon an old friend dressed in rags and half-starved and say, "Good morning, friend! Be clothed in Christ! Be filled with the Holy Spirit!" and walk off without providing so much as a coat or a cup of soup—where does that get you? Isn't it obvious that God-talk without God-acts is outrageous nonsense? (James 2:14-17)
We can talk about marriage all day long. We can buy books and listen to podcasts about how we should have great marriages. We can listen to sermons and do Bible studies. But, unless we put some God-acts to our God-talk, no one benefits.
Hundreds of couples have done the Projects before you. These simple acts have been proven to change not only people’s behavior, but also their attitudes. I pray that God pours out His blessings on you and your marriage as you put feet to His plan for your marriage.
Trusting In Him,