1. If you dump out old bacon grease for the outdoor cats, make sure the dog comes inside first. Otherwise, the dog will eat the bacon grease and spend all evening puking it up on your wood floors. Eventually, the dog will be put outside for the rest of the night, when Daddy gets tired of cleaning up grease-puke.
2. If you throw out a meat tray, don't put it in the burn trash unless you also want to burn the trash bag. If you save the trash bag, the smell of decaying meat will fill your kitchen until you can't stand it any longer and decide to burn the trash bag.
3. If you head out to burn that stinking trash bag, and some pizza boxes, make sure you have some tissues with you. For some reason, tissues will start a fire much more effectively than any other type of paper in that bag full of paper trash. If all else fails, dig in your pockets and hope you have a tissue.
Just a few lessons we've been reminded of recently,