I was thinking about the many different times that I was a wreck by 8 pm, and an emotional disaster by 10 pm. I was just certain that the following things were true:
- my kids were hell-bound
- my kids were jail-bound
- I was a failure
- my house was a trash pit
- no one loved me
- no one appreciated me
- I was nothing more than a cook, slave, laundress, and maid to my family
- I was alone
- no one cared about my feelings
- I might as well give up
Of course, it's around that time that Steve just ushers me off to bed. I resist, of course, because I still have so many things to do. But it's off to bed for me.
But, the next morning, I wake up and I can smile again. My kids are not such terrible, evil, wild, hellions. My family does love me, and my house is not an unrecoverable disaster area. Sleep restores my ability to see reality.
It's true that when we allow ourselves to become exhausted, we lose our perspective. We don't just lose it, we are seeing everything through a warped glass. It's impossible to be loving, kind, patient, wise, or anything God calls us to be, when we're physically exhausted. Yes, God's spirit helps us, but God also designed us with a need to rest, and we have to take care of ourselves in that way.
My sarcastic mind was thinking about this after watching the video, and then I decided that the Proverbs 31 woman must have made sure she got plenty of sleep at night, since she always had wisdom and faithful instruction on her tongue. Except, then I remembered that the Bible tells us she awoke while it was still dark, and her lamp did not go out at night. She was working late, and rising early, to do her work.
So, when did she rest? She had to rest. I know that when I burn the candle at both ends, I find it more difficult to control my tongue. I especially find it difficult to laugh at the days to come. Fatigue definitely leads to worry, fear, and anger in most of us.
She must have napped ... at least when her kids were young. There's no other explanation.
I've been fighting the urge to nap lately. I usually only nap when I'm pregnant. But, these hot afternoons are wearing me out, and I've been staying up late, waiting for cooler temperatures to help me sleep. Many afternoons I wander into my room, lay down on my bed, in front of the fan, and start to doze a bit. But I haven't been letting myself sleep. Maybe I'd better let myself nap before I turn into that woman in the video, and give Steve the biggest scare of his life one morning. Or before my kids start to think "Mean Mom" has moved in for good.
Besides, if the Proverbs 31 woman napped, so should I.