Wednesday, November 16, 2011

It sounds so simple ...

How many times has someone told me they just moved their parent into an assisted living home or a nursing home?  Stated matter-of-factly, without pouring out their whole story.  How many times did I basically ignore their statement and continue with my own concerns?

 

Not everyone shares openly about the decision or the process, but I'm learning that there has to have been a story.  Even if their parent was in full agreement with the move, or unable to protest the move, there is still a story.  Even if every sibling agreed on every detail along the way, there is still a story.  Even if there is only one choice for where to place their parent, there is still a story.  A story filled with strong emotions, indecision, confusion, difficult discussions, overwhelming fatigue, regrets, and stress.

 

I will never again hear those words, and glibly say "I'm sorry" and move on in the conversation.  I will stop, look them in the eye, ask how it went and let them know I care about them and the struggle they've faced.  And since the struggle rarely ends once their parent is moved, I'll continue to ask how it's going.  I just never knew all that was wrapped up in that sentence.
April E.