I've been doing it again. Being so caught up in the mundane-ness of my daily life, that I haven't been taking time to blog. I'm not sure why. Life in our home is somehow both ever-changing and yet, boring and ordinary. It's an ongoing list of things to do: school, chores, chicken care, laundry, meals to cook, laundry, kid fights to referee, laundry, trips to town, more school, errands to run, more chores, lots of laundry ... and occasionally ... sleep.
We have 8 kids. 8 busy, active, creative, good kids. They have different personalities, and they all have their own weaknesses and struggles. Of course, we see their worst behavior at home because this is where they get to be themselves, and where they have to learn conflict resolution and communication skills when they have personality differences. It's their training ground for life, for careers where they don't get to choose their co-workers, and for marriage. But sometimes I forget that and I start to forget that they really are good kids. I just see my day filled with argument after argument, and occasionally ... a real fight where someone gets hurt.
Since they are active and creative children, schoolwork is a drag, and chores are torture. They don't like stopping their PLAY to fill in workbook pages for math and handwriting. I try to keep most of our schoolwork (for elementary years) more interactive, but some things still need to be done textbook style. So every day I repeat myself ... "stop goofing off and finish your schoolwork." "Did you finish your math yet?" "So, you're talking to your sister, does that mean your math is done?" And even worse ... "did you do your dishes yet?" Every single day. Okay, on weekends I get to skip the schoolwork questions and focus on housework instead.
I love being a mom. I love having 8 kids. I could not imagine my life without even just one of them. I really would not change it for anything. But I get tired of the mundane-ness of our days sometimes. When our kids were all younger, days like this meant we'd set school aside for awhile and take a break, have some fun, regain our joy. But now I have teens, and they point out areas where they wish I'd been more structured or diligent in teaching when they were younger. Teens also don't like to disrupt the structure they've set up for their schoolweek. So I keep pushing on, trying to stay "on track" with all our daily chores.
Chores sounds negative. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth. It sounds mundane. I am loving that word today ... mundane. But it describes what I've been feeling lately. My life is ordinary, repetitive, mundane, and often ... blah. Reading that makes me sound depressed, but I don't think I am. I'm just feeling very common-place right now. Life is full and busy, but not very exciting. I'm trying to establish habits and routines in my life, and my children's life.
More importantly, I'm trying to nurture the relationships I have with my husband and my children. I don't want to lose them in the midst of the to-do lists. So I snuggle little ones, watch Curious George with toddlers, read to the preschoolers, tickle the boys, listen to the tales of their escapades, answer life-questions for my preteen and teens, and listen to dreams. And I try to find time to connect with my husband ... more than just discussing a list of stuff we need to accomplish that week.
I can sum it up best by simply saying I'm trying my best to be a good wife, and a good Mom. Somehow in the midst of all that, I've set aside the blogging routine. I need to find a way to do both again. But that means taking a moment to focus on the special little moments I'd like to share, or seeing our life from the outside for a moment ... so it seems less ordinary and blah. I guess I need to find my writing inspiration again.