I feel as if I failed. My summer has slipped past, without accomplishing great things. I didn't declutter my home, which desperately needs it. I didn't deep clean my home, which also needs that. I didn't finish sorting, selling, or getting rid of my mother-in-law's belongings. I didn't plant a successful garden and I barely used my clothesline. I didn't help the kids develop a ton of amazing 4-H projects. I didn't even blog, really.
But, I did enjoy a vacation with my family, and my son's baseball season that took him to the state finals. I did get to just rest a bit, and spend time with my kids. We were able to regroup and reconnect from a very hectic 8 months of school combined with daily off-site care for my mother-in-law and finally settling her into a nursing home. Over the summer, we were able to establish a more natural flow for our family, adding in weekly nursing home visits and monthly doctor visits to the rhythm we had before. The kids were able to go to kids camp, family vacation, teen camp, sleepovers, youth group parties, and just immerse themselves in summer fun.
It was a good summer. But reality is beckoning me. There is still that extra futon in the living room. We still have a "junk room" to empty and try to convert to a bedroom. We still have a storage unit full of my mother-in-law's stuff to process. We still have school to plan, and begin!
I'm tempted to regret the lazy summer days spent talking with my kids, and letting them relax. I'm tempted to regret my own relaxation between moments of running here and there. But, at the same time, I know it's been a good summer. Hectic, but still relaxing and healing.
So I will not focus on what we didn't do. I will not let myself feel as if I'm behind. I will not turn our final weeks of summer into a "catch up" frenzy, pushing my family to accomplish a summer's worth of work in 3 short weeks. I'm just going to remember this as a good summer with my family, and start making plans for our new school year. We'll just keep marking things off the "to-do" list as we accomplish them, no matter how slow it seems. One day at a time, one week at a time, one school year at a time.