So I walked to the mailbox, picked up the mail, then wandered around looking at flowers in the sunshine for awhile. I needed time to pray and whine and complain to God. God called my husband and I to homeschool. We both felt it impressed on us so firmly that this is what God wanted us to do for our family. It isn't always easy. Our own kids fight us on a daily basis, it seems. Every day. All but one of my students has begged to go to public school more than once. Only one.
Our goal isn't spectacular. We're not trying to raise the next National Geography Bee winner, or National Spelling Bee winner. We aren't trying to get the kids into Harvard at age 15. We aren't expecting them all to be the next Billy Graham. We just want them to be reasonably-well educated, responsible and capable adults, who love the Lord. And that means doing schoolwork and chores every day, and being the meanest mom on the earth.
Sometimes I wonder what my role in life is, what my role in the homeschool community is. I'm not writing books. I'm not teaching biology and algebra in co-op classes. I'm not producing young authors or teaching art classes. I'm not stepping up and leading workshops at homeschool conferences. I think all I do is persevere. I teach my kids every day, and I get them to graduation through gritted teeth, arguments, and a whole lot of drama. Our homeschool isn't spectacular and most days are really ordinary with too many days hitting the minimum requirements instead of being filled with wonder and amazing projects.
I suppose, if nothing else, I show ordinary people that it can be done. That you can homeschool your kids, and they can graduate and go to college. Now to just get the rest of these kids through school without losing heart or giving up. Some days, that's harder than it seems.
Today, I had to take a walk, fighting tears, and then come inside to blog about it. This is often a thankless job. But God called me to it, and He will help me through it. I can not do this in my own strength. That's probably why he asked us to homeschool, to keep us coming back to Him.
If you're having a day like mine, take a walk. Maybe you don't have flowers yet, but you can enjoy mine.
Just hang in there, homeschool mom. Know that you're probably doing a better job than me right now. We're just pushing through, day by day, and it's like pulling teeth to get anything done.