Friday, December 19, 2008

Congratulations to the Duggar Family!

I've had a draft sitting here with the title "We are NOT the Duggars" for a couple weeks now.  I was going  to write a mini-rant on people comparing us to them ... someday when I had time.  Well, I just changed the title.

The Duggars had their baby girl yesterday.   Their 8th baby girl, their 18th child.  Jordyn-Grace Makiya Duggar.   Congratulations to the Duggar Family!  I truly mean that.  If you don't agree with the Duggars or have a "bone to pick" with them, I don't want to hear about it.  Don't leave any comments like that here.  I wish them all God's best.


The reason I had a draft titled "We are NOT the Duggars", is because I get tired of hearing about them.  Someone asks how many kids we have ... we say 7 ... and then the Duggars come up.  Sometimes it's just a "Hey, have you heard of that family with 17 or 18 kids?" 

Sometimes we get "blessed" with a rant all about what they dislike about the Duggars.  I kid you not.  When my Father-in-law was hospitalized, one of his nurses was ranting at Steve about the Duggars and their family rules.    My Father-in-law was in intensive care, and the nurse is going on and on about large families to my husband, while his Dad is in the hospital.  A total stranger! 

Sometimes we overhear whispered conversations about the Duggars while people are looking at our family.  I think I hate those the most ... because I don't know what comparison they are drawing, or if it's a good or bad conversation.

We are NOT the Duggars.  Yes, we have 7 kids, and yes, we homeschool.  But 7 kids is not 18.  The Duggars have 2.5 times MORE kids than us.  (Do the math!)  Their children arrive closer together than ours, and they have a history of twins.  Even when we are their age in about ten years, we will not have 18 kids.


It just blows my mind that people look at our family, see 7 kids, and it's so huge to them (apparently) that they immediately connect it with a family who has been blessed with 18 kids.   To me, that's a huge difference, but maybe not to others.


Please, don't assume that because we homeschool and have a larger than average family, that we are like the Duggars.  Not all large families are the Duggars.  Each family has their own style, their own personality, and their own way of doing things.  Please don't lecture me on what you don't like about how the Duggars do things, because we are NOT the Duggars.  For good or bad, we are not the same. 


Yes, we have let God plan our family size ... but His plan for us isn't the same as His plan for the Duggars.  And He didn't create us to be carbon copies of the Duggars.  We really do have our own personalities, our own style, our own faults and our own good qualities.  Please take the time to get to know US and not just assume we are like the Duggars.


Now, as I said earlier, I have nothing against the Duggars or their way of doing things at all.  I'm glad they've let others see inside a large homeschooling family as they have.  I'm glad they are so open about their faith and their decision to let God plan their family.  I know I would not want a camera crew in my home like that, nor would I want to be recognized everywhere I went.  My issue isn't with the Duggars at all, but with people who make assumptions about US, based on their perception of the Duggars.


Wow!  I just realized that if I am so "blessed" to hear what others dislike about the Duggars ... what about them?  How often do they get publicly lectured by TV viewers who disagree with something they've said or done?  That would truly be horrible.  I could not handle that.  I think each time someone brings up the Duggars to me (for good or bad), I'll pray for the Duggars.  I'll pray for them to have the grace to continue walking the very public path they're on.


Anyway, Congratulations to the Duggar family!  I know Jordyn-Grace will be loved and cherished and well-cared for.  I know she will be raised in the teaching of God's Word.  She is blessed already.


And just in case you're wondering ... no, we aren't a blended family either.  That's another assumption people sometimes make.


Trusting in Him,


1 comment:

  1. Hello,

    Saw your blog on the recently updated blogs list and for some reason popped over to browse.

    I'm only pregnant with my fifth, but I also get compared to the Duggars a lot--all the time, it seems.

    However, I have noticed the show has helped people understand us better. It seems to me that by watching the show, people actually see that it is possible to have a lot of children, have them raised well, have the home clean and organized, and have a loving, functional, family.

    I recently got blessed with a lot of new furniture and appliances, too. God is so generous--but I have to think that things don't matter to Him one way or another--whether He gives us a lot or a little. It's our hearts He's concerned about, is it not?

    I really enjoyed Teri Maxwell's book (the one you listed under books you are reading). It was a huge help to me a few years ago as I was learning how to get through a peaceful and productive day.

    I enjoyed browsing.

    God bless.

    --Mrs. E


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