Thursday, October 1, 2009

Review: "WHAT HE MUST BE ... if he wants to marry my daugher" by Voddie Baucham Jr.

Title:  WHAT HE MUST BE ... if he wants to marry my daughter
Author:  Voddie Baucham Jr.
Publisher:  Crossway
Format:  Softcover
ISBN:  978-1-58134-930-6

I am very late on this review because I didn't want to rush through this book.  Voddie Baucham Jr. has written a book designed to get us thinking. 

  • He wants fathers to carefully consider their role in the raising of their daughters and in helping their daughters find husbands. 

  • He wants young ladies to carefully consider the type of man they should marry. 

  • He wants young men to read this book and be inspired to become a strong man of God.

While I don't think everyone will reach the same conclusions that Voddie has reached for his family, I do think this is an important book for parents and young adults to read.  Even if you don't feel led to practice the same method of courtship or family worship that Voddie's family does, you can be challenged to be more active in the lives and futures of your sons and daughters. 

Marriage is an important covenant relationship.  It is not a trivial decision to be made solely on emotions and romantic encounters.  Too many young people allow themselves to fall totally in love with someone who isn't living a godly life.  Marriage soon follows because they can't live without the love of their life.  Then reality hits -- differences in beliefs and values begin to cause conflict which quickly drowns out the spark of romance.

If Christians would be more thoughtful and cautious of who they developed relationships with, this could be avoided.  If Christians used more logic before involving their emotions, less divorces would follow.  This is where I see Voddie's book to be invaluable.  He encourages Christian parents and young adults to have high expectations and ideals, not to lower their values just for the sake of temporary entertainment or fulfilling a need to be loved.  (I am not saying that you should marry without love, but that we should be careful who we give our hearts to.)

Voddie's writings strengthen Christian families and challenge men to lead their families with Christ's love and a servant's heart.  I know many people have been burned by churches or people who have taken patriarchal teachings to an extreme -- with overbearing and abusive husbands and fathers.  Voddie does NOT encourage that and speaks against such harsh leadership.   I hope those who have been burned by the patriarchal movement will still give this book a chance.  I believe it will be worth it.

Crossway Blog

Trusting In Him,

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