Friday, December 3, 2010

Re-evaluating your look or style

A few of my homeschool-mom friends were recently talking about things they're doing that they didn't think they would ... wearing shorter skirts, dying their hair, wearing more makeup, investing in manicures or other beauty treatments, cutting their hair shorter, redoing their wardrobe.   We were joking about whether it was a mid-life crisis or just re-evaluating.   We all agreed that we liked to call it re-evaluating instead.

I've done it myself.  I've switched from skirts back to jeans.  I've tried to replace baggy shirts with more fitted shirts.  I've tossed out some out-dated or unflattering clothes.  I've tried to buy more modern jeans (that don't expose me every time I bend over).  I've cut my hair back to shoulder length.  I'm pondering the need for a bit more make-up.

I'm 37, and I don't want to look like I'm tired, worn-out, or like I don't care about my appearance.  Especially since I'm a homeschool mom and have a large family.   I don't want my appearance to give the impression that my family is running me down, or this lifestyle is just too hard on me.  I also don't want anyone to think they have to look a certain way to homeschool.

The recent discussion reminded me of a post I read last month from a new blogger, Not A Supermom.  She posted about not "Letting yourself go -- homeschool mom style".  It's a fun read, and it might just push you to take a second look at yourself in the mirror, too.

Focusing on our appearance too much is bad.  Ignoring it is also bad.  It's not necessarily a bad thing to look in the mirror, look at the women around us, and look in the mirror again.  But of course, always look to please your husband first.  If he likes your hair au natural ... keep it that way.  If he likes it Little Mermaid red,  then dye it!  If he likes dresses, or pants, or whatever ... dress to please him.

April E.


  1. Hey, thanks for the shout out! You have such a great blog--I'm flattered.
    I much prefer your terminology of "re-evaluating". So stealing that. :)
    I was very sick a few years ago and it triggered my "re-evaluating".
    For me, it was as much a re-evaluation of my heart and attitude as much as it was about my appearance.
    I'm lucky in that my husband says he likes whatever I do that makes me feel good.

  2. We do need to think about this once in awhile. And we need to step back and see how we look to our husbands. Aslo, make a good example for our girls. So much to think about! Good post.

  3. Yes. Having teen daughters is part of what made me take a second look at myself recently. Not that I'm trying to compete with them in any way, but I do want them to see a balanced example of how to care for yourself without being overly vain or high-maintenance.

  4. I agree completely with all of this. I think its way to easy to stay in frumpy clothes, no makeup, no shower, and just not look pleasing to your husband. My husband always says I look beautiful no matter what, but if I can dress up a bit to go meet a girlfriend for lunch, then I should be able to do the same for my husband every day. I think the key is finding the balance for your own personal life, and not basing it on anyone else's. And I agree that most of that balance is what your husband thinks. Thanks for the great post. :)


  5. Yes, needed this post! Having just had baby I'm looking at my wardrobe of things that don't fit and I know I'll have to do a bit of thrift store shopping to have something to wear. I need to be sure and choose things that look nice, not just things that fit.

    I have seen moms go both extremes. There are two women at my church that go the 'dressing like Barbie' route - they literally try wearing what their teen daughters wear. They are both over 40 and it's not flattering, despite the slim figures, it just looks silly. Sigh. I know their teens (boys and girls) are embarrased by it.
    I'm much more likely to go the other extreme - sweats are just so comfy all winter long. Time to find a happy middle!

  6. Good post. I've awarded you an award on my blog. :)

  7. You are so right! But I can't decide what to do! Thanks for a great post.

    Annie Kate


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