Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Regretting a Selfish Choice

I missed it.  I turned down the chance for a "romantic boat ride" with my husband at the family reunion.  The boat is a little row boat on my uncle's little pond.  Steve came up and invited me on a romantic boat ride, and I didn't want to go.  He asked again, and I told him no.  When he asked again I told him that I was going to be an un-submissive wife and NOT go to the pond at all.  It seemed funny at the time.  Everyone else was joking about how unromantic the boat ride would actually be, and I was enjoying the camaraderie in the front yard.


But this morning as I think over that moment, I'm ashamed.  I rejected time with my husband in favor of time sitting and talking with my family.  He'd been spending time fishing with the kids, rowing them around in the boat, and even camping in a tent with the boys ... and all he asked was for a little of my time and attention.  I didn't think about it that way at the time.  I just thought about how comfortable I was where I was, chatting with family, and how I didn't really want to go down to the pond ... away from my extended family ... down to the pond where I might get dirty.


I made the wrong choice.  I am sure I hurt my husband's feelings.  I need to apologize to him.  And I'm ashamed and embarrassed of the bad witness I gave to the others that were present.    Sigh.


Not only should I have cheerfully joined my husband on that boat ride, I should have spent some time fishing with my kids and admiring their catches.  I missed out on time with them, as well.   Hopefully the next time we go to the reunion, I'll do a better job of serving my family instead of myself.   In the meantime, I need to apologize to my husband and focus on blessing him.  He works so hard, and does so much for our family ... and sometimes I take that for granted.


"Lord, please change me.  Help me to be more giving and less selfish.  Help me to bless my family, and especially my husband.  Amen."

April E.

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