Tuesday, December 17, 2013

"Real Men Don't Text: a new approach to dating" by Ruthie & Michael Dean

Real Men Don't Text (from Tyndale Publishing) offers a new approach to dating that helps to eliminate the confusion over where a relationship is headed and what guy's really interested in you.  I had to read this book, as I have daughters beginning to date and sons coming up behind them that will be entering into relationships.  I'm glad I did read it, and I'll encourage my daughters and other young ladies to read it, as well.

Text messaging, instant messaging, snapchat, facebook - they all offer great ways to communicate and stay in touch with friends, but they also bring challenges to dating relationships.  More and more, guys are asking girls for last minute hang-outs that leave a girl wondering if it's a date or not.  Is he interested or not? Am I a friend, or something more?  Trying to read between the lines of a 2 sentence text is virtually impossible.

Ruthie Dean had been through a series of bad relationships before she made the decision to not accept text-messaged invites.  She made the decision to reply - "that sounds good, but call me to discuss it."  Some guys would take the initiative to call, others wouldn't. Michael Dean called ... and kept calling.

Real Men Don't Text is a very easy book to read and relate to.  It is written primarily to women, though men could learn from it, as well.  The chapters alternate between Michael's point of view and Ruthie's point of view, though most of them are coming from Ruthie's experience as a girl trying to navigate the dating world.  Sprinkled throughout the book are descriptions of "The Man You're Dating" such as "Mr. Promised He Would Call" and "Mr. Fixer-Upper".  This isn't done for man-bashing, because the whole point of the book is that there are bad relationships everywhere, and guys looking for a pretty face to hook up with ... BUT if you wait, there are also great guys out there looking for wives.

The book also has Text Translation 101 blurbs scattered through the book.  This one takes those ambiguous and confusing texts (taken from real situations shared with Ruthie) and interprets them.  Most of the time, the translation is ... "He isn't interested in a long-term committed relationship, so move on."  This book is about having respect for yourself, and making wise dating decisions that reflect your true worth.  You are more than an object, more than a fling, more than occasional entertainment, more than just a pretty face.

Real Men Don't Text includes many personal stories of other women who've made dating mistakes, and learned from them.  You are not alone. I love the chapters on Real Red Flags, Real Turnoffs, Real Men Grow Up, and Real Connection.  These came later in the book, but they took the premise of the book and applied it.  They help differentiate between a relationship built on a godly foundation, that's headed toward marriage ... and ones that are headed for disaster. 

If my daughters wouldn't be totally mortified, I'd take the twitter-friendly quotes at the end of each chapter and start tweeting.  I'd have content for several months, with short, poignant quotes from the book.  Just one more feature of the book that can help spread the word to other girls that they have value and don't have to settle for a series of short, hurtful pseudo-relationships.

I highly recommend this book for every young lady entering the dating world!! I've had it sitting on my desk waiting to be reviewed for several months.  I wish I'd read it sooner, and posted this review sooner.  My sincere apologies, because this book deserved better.

You can access a book excerpt and a discussion guide at http://www.tyndale.com/Real-Men-Dont-Text/9781414386676#.UrB7vydRIt0.

Learn more about the book, the authors, and the possibility of having them speak at your event:

April E.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received one or more of the products or services mentioned above from Tyndale Blog Network  for free in the hope that I would mention it on my blog.  Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."

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