"For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning." Psalms 30:5
Hmm. I'm a child of "the Bible version change". My memory of Bible verses is a weird mix of the King James Version of my parents Bible, the Children's Living Bible they first started me with, and the New International Version I now use. So, in my mind this verse is "Weeping may remain for the night, but joy comes in the morning." However, that's my weird mixed up combination of all the various versions.
I also know it isn't really in context to use it in reference to my topic ... but it was what came to my mind this morning. I had a gloomy weekend. I was tired, worn out, and negative. And I didn't try very hard to hide it from my family. In this mood, everything was worse. I was on the verge of tears most of Sunday over the terrible state of my home and my poor parenting and how I was sure I was ruining my children. I took two naps after church, but the headache and blues still remained.
And to make matters worse, my mean old husband wanted to drag us all out to "the city" for an outdoor symphony concert and fireworks Sunday night. He reasoned that once we got there, we'd enjoy it, as usual. I was intent on not enjoying it, just to prove him wrong. But I knew I couldn't do this in a sulking way -- that would be a bad influence on my children. So I'd have to appear to be pleasant, but then inform Steve once we were home that he was wrong.
But he wasn't wrong, and I had to humbly admit I was glad we went. I woke up in a slightly better mood on Monday, but I still felt like the house was a horrible mess. There were certain areas of clutter and trouble spots really bugging me, but they needed my husband to do "A" before I could fix "troublespot B". And he was instead working his way through the giant pile of newspapers, reading, skimming, and moving them to the recycling stack. Something that needed done, something he enjoys ... so I could not nag him about the "A" so I could do "B".
As I sat and read, I was trying to push down the annoyance that "A" was not getting done. I focused on the unattainable "A" and "B" instead of the things I could have been working on. And I found the blues starting to settle in again. By then I had realized it was largely a problem of fatigue and hormones. Everything was out of perspective. I'd quit taking my vitamins and supplements, I'd been staying up much too late, and I hadn't prepared any Red Raspberry Leaf tea in quite some time. Instead, I was trying to drown my blues and stress in soda and chocolate. So I took my vitamins/supplements and vowed to make some Red Raspberry Leaf tea on Tuesday to help level out my hormones.
This morning, when I woke up after a good night's sleep, I found the world a much brighter place. Joy comes in the morning. I realized that largely what I had experienced over the weekend was a matter of fatigue. I should have known. Just the fact that I napped on Sunday should have been a clue to me. I just don't nap, unless my reserves are empty. Every now and then, I wear myself out to the point that I nap all weekend long, and am fine by Monday.
So, I'm realizing today that I need to take better care of myself. I need to eat more healthily (hmm ... that sounds wrong) ... healthier? I need to keep taking my vitamins and supplements. I need to get more rest. And I need to keep drinking my Red Raspberry Leaf tea. It's not fair to subject my family to fatigue induced, hormone driven tirades that are based on exaggerated irrational feelings instead of facts. It's not fair to subject them to weekends of Mom sulking and grumping and snapping about every little thing. I can't properly fulfill my God-given role as wife and mother if I don't take proper care of myself.
For me, weeping lasted a 3 day weekend, but joy came in the morning ... after a couple good nights' sleep.
Blessings,
April
