Monday, October 11, 2010

Sometimes parenting is messy ...

and I'm not talking about the state of my living room at the moment, my teenagers' closet, or the dark depths beneath my sons' beds.  I'm talking about the relationships, the discipline, and knowing when to speak and when to be quiet.

Right now, parenting has been pretty messy around here.  Not all the time.  There are moments of peace and pleasant conversation, as well.  But, I've got teenage girls, active elementary-aged boys, emotional preschoolers, and a newborn.  Between wrestling boys, tantrums from toddlers, and teenage disagreements ... our home is more often loud than peaceful.

We've still been taking a break from schoolwork so I can recover from the delivery and focus on establishing nursing with our baby.  We also have to find a new rhythm for household chores after a baby arrives.  Getting laundry washed, folded, and put away between the newborn's waking moments can be difficult enough w/o adding in math lessons.   But, this also means my kids are wandering around with not enough to do.  The TV has been on too much, the teens have been on the computer too much, and there is too much fighting going on.

Not all of the arguing is between the kids, either.  Some of it is between the Mom and the kids.  There is a fine line between what a Mom can share on her blog and what would really embarrass or dishonor her children.  So, that's probably all I should say on the subject, except that I still need to work on controlling my tongue.  I accept that I am part of the problem.

Being a wise, loving, and godly mother is harder than it looked when I was younger.  It's even harder the older your children get.  For one thing, the rules keep changing.  You have to learn how to relate to them over and over again.  You have to learn where to let go, and where to hold on tight.  You have to pray harder.  You have to learn to bite your tongue.

I once thought the hardest part was having 4 kids under the age of 8.  That was hard physically, but having 8 kids under the age of 16 is hard in a different way.    It's hard to balance the needs of different aged children.  It's hard to deal with the interpersonal issues they have.  It's hard to stay emotionally uninvolved when their emotions are out of control.  It's hard to answer their tough questions.  It's emotionally and mentally difficult for many different reasons.

Lately I've had several things I wanted to blog about,  only to realize that doing so wouldn't be respectful of my children.    Instead, I can only confess that right now, life is a little messy around here.  Emotions are running high, words fly around, and I get tired. I need prayer for wisdom, self-control, patience, and gentleness.

Not to mention that there are toy dishes on my living room floor, and I have several loads of clean laundry to fold again.   Yes ... life is definitely messy.

Persevering in faith,
April E.


  1. I was thinking the same thing about blogging about your children. I've had some messy times with my children myself lately, and like you I want to blog about them, but I won't. Praying that things get into a flow with you and the family. :)


  2. Yes, life is definitely messy! It looked so much easier when I was the teen or young adult. Everything looked black and white, but now that I'm the mom I find there are so many shades of gray to deal with. Keep taking time off but maybe assign a project for those who need to fill their time more, be it a book to read, a topic to research and teach everyone about, or even a new skill to learn. And remind me of that advice when my baby arrives next month...LOL.

  3. Praying for you April and appreciate your words of wisdom and your integrity for your children. They shall rise up and call you blessed one day!

  4. You wrote: "Lately I’ve had several things I wanted to blog about, only to realize that doing so wouldn’t be respectful of my children. Instead, I can only confess that right now, life is a little messy around here. Emotions are running high, words fly around, and I get tired. I need prayer for wisdom, self-control, patience, and gentleness"

    I'm right there with you! A few weeks ago, I had the blessed opportunity to see and hear Beth Moore speak in person. She is an amazing woman who has been called to share the gospel with women in a way that most women can understand easily. And she does it well.

    This particular day she spoke on Proverbs 31:26:
    "She opens her mouth with wisdom,
    And on her tongue is the law of kindness."

    Now, I will be the first to admit (but I won't fight anyone for that position) that I am a Proverbs 31 failure, but I will strive to pray and trust more in the Lord to help guide me in this one. I will pray the same for you.


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