Thursday, February 23, 2012

How to Spend An Unplanned Hour, or How to Clean Your Fridge Really Well

If you really have nothing to do, and are just twiddling your thumbs looking for a way to kill an hour, I have the solution for you.  There are several steps in this process, however.

First, let a half gallon of milk expire.  Save it, for making buttermilk pancakes sometime.

Second, let a 1/4 gallon of milk expire.  Pour it into the saved half gallon jug.

Third, go on a diet so you don't want to serve pancakes and syrup to your family.

Fourth, keep the spoiled milk because you intend to use it sometime.

Fifth, notice that the jug is at the point you need to open the lid to release built-up gasses every couple days.  Commence doing so.

Sixth, move it to a shelf on the door of the fridge when the fridge gets full.

Seventh, open and close the door several times a day.

That should take care of the problem for you.  Because one day you will open the fridge and immediately smell sour milk.  Then you will notice a puddle spreading across the floor under the door, right onto the carpet.  (Still say carpets in kitchens was the stupidest idea ever.)  Then you will notice that the gallon of spoiled milk has exploded and is leaking out under the lid.

Call your spouse to help with the clean-up. Start by soaking up spilled milk in the carpet, then clean the fridge door.  Then remove meat and vegetable drawers from the fridge and clean the puddle on the fridge floor itself.  Continually notice that the next shelf up is also dirty and clean it, too.  Spray fridge with bleach water.

Then start attacking the carpet with soapy water.  Soak that up as much as possible.  Then break out the pet odor remover and soak the floor again.  And again.  And again. 

Yeah, that should take care of both your problems.  You'll have a clean fridge, and you'll kill an hour of time.  Not that I would know this from experience ... because that's not how I spent an hour of my time this weekend.  Nope. 

April E.


  1. And to think I just avoided this by throwing out that 1/2 gallon of sour milk today. Seriously, I had no idea it could be used as buttermilk. I've got brown bananas on the counter and will making sour milk with vinegar in the next few days for banana bread. I could have used this sour milk instead??? I had no idea!

  2. Well, that's what we do. :D Steve usually likes to save it for a particular cake recipe.


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