1. I did NOT store my Christmas ornaments and nativities in a paper bag in the corner of my living room all year long. I would NOT have continually put off the process of packing them all up into their individual boxes in the totes that were waiting for them in the basement.
2. Decorating for Christmas did NOT mean telling the kids to untangle the bag full of ornaments and hang them on the pre-lit Christmas tree. No, it couldn't, because everyone knows that Mom has to unpack the ornaments and hand them to the kids one by one.
3. We did NOT find several broken ornaments in the process of untangling them from their rumpled paper bag.
4. I did NOT think to myself that this was the easiest tree decorating ever and I did NOT wonder why we complicate it with the tote full of boxes in the basement.
5. My 8 year old son did NOT just change the words of We Three Kings to be all about passing gas.
6. Last night on our first evening of Advent devotions, one of my children did NOT sit with their hands on their ears through the whole thing. And one of my other children did NOT act as if they were asleep through the whole thing.
7. This weekend, my son did NOT sleep walk into the bathroom, throw up all over the floor, then go back to bed and not remember a thing. And my sister's dog and my dog did NOT go in and lick most of it up before my 14 year old did NOT get up and discover the semi-mess. It did NOT take her and me several minutes to figure out what did NOT happen. We did NOT try to wake up the boys to figure out who did it, and we did NOT sniff them to determine which one smelled like vomit. We did NOT have to clean the sink, the floor, the trash can, the step stool, and gather up the floor mats at midnight. My 14 year old was NOT awake still at midnight, reading, when she should have been asleep ... like I had NOT been. Nope, not here.
8. My husband did NOT crack his head on the metal stanchions in the barn when gathering eggs yesterday afternoon. He did NOT come back and sit with ice on his head for half an hour before he could resume his plan of riding bikes with the kids.
9. I did NOT host a late Thanksgiving here for my sister with baskets of unfolded clothes all over the living room.
10. I did NOT buy a coat for one of my children on Black Friday, only to have them tell me they would NOT wear that coat. I did NOT tell them "tough cookies."
11. I am NOT writing this when I should be writing a review that is due today.
12. And finally, I did NOT just have a computer glitch that posted this as an empty post for several minutes before I came back to finish this post.
Nope ... none of that happened here.
To read more Not Me Monday entries from other moms who did NOT do anything like I did NOT do ... visit MckMama at My Charming Kids.Trusting In Him,
April
